The truth is many of us, including myself, don’t feel comfortable posting a picture of ourselves online without a filter or without touching it up. Our self-esteem and mental health are completely dependent on the way others view us on social media.
Read moreEight AWESOME Personality Tests For When You're Tired of the MBTI →
I’m tired of taking the MBTI…
I always have and still am a huge proponent of personality tests. From a young age, I noticed that astrology never really spoke to me because I could not relate to my sign. However, when I took the personality tests, I found the results almost spot on my personality. I enjoy personality tests because I feel that they are an excellent way to understand your strengths and reflect on what you may need to improve on to grow as a person. In college, we were required to take the Meyers Briggs Type Indicator (MBTI) test. The MBTI is commonly used in the workplace and in the classroom to assess individuals’ strengths, work style, and positive qualities they can bring to their environment.
After taking both exams twice during my three-year college career, I became more interested in other tests that would reveal more about my personality. I started looking for tests that included both a psychological and situational analysis. I was able to find some creative and thought-provoking tests that broke down different elements of my personality and explained the reasoning behind why and how I act in certain situations. Below, I have listed eight personality tests that are great to take if you are looking for more personality tests besides the MBTI.*
The Big Five Personality Test assesses individuals on five components; extroversion, agreeableness, openness, conscientiousness, and neuroticism. This test evaluates your personality traits over five broad categories. In recent years, this test has become popular among employers to screen potential candidates.
The creator of Dungeons and Dragons initially inspired the Moral Alignment Test to suggest the general moral and personal attitudes of an individual represented by an alignment. The most common form of this test contains nine categories; lawful good, neutral good, chaotic good, lawful neutral, neutral, chaotic neutral, lawful evil, neutral evil, or chaotic evil. Even though it was initially used to characterize fictional characters, many people take the test to learn about their moral alignment.
The Enneagram Test is based around nine different personality traits or numbers that resemble the shape of the geometric figure known as the enneagram. This test has become increasingly popular within pop-culture, especially on Instagram. Many people have made pictographs with essential characteristics to describe a person’s number.
4. High 5 Test
The High 5 Test evaluates and suggests your five biggest strengths. This test is used to help people understand their strengths and well as the strengths of others around them.
This test demonstrates individuals' personalities through their political views. The test results will place you on a chart consisting of four quadrants; Authoritarian Right, Authoritarian Left, Libertarian Left, and Libertarian Right. The Political Compass test is often used as a way for historians to categorize famous politicians and the extremes of their views.
The EPI Test measures pervasiveness, dimensions of personality, Extraversion-Introversion, and Neuroticism-Stability to evaluate the many variables of a personality. When you take the test, it is vital to click on the answer that goes with your initial gut feeling and not overthink your answers.
This assessment evaluates four factors to gauge how you are most likely to behave in your day to day life. Dominance, Influence, Steadiness, and Compliance are the four factors used in this assessment. Many workplaces have also started to use this personality test as a leadership and teamwork activity.
Lastly, one of my favorite personality tests is the Hogwarts Sorting Hat. As seen in Harry Potter, the sorting hat divides individuals up into the four different houses at Hogwarts; Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Gryffindor, and Slytherin.
I hope you all have fun taking these and please let me know what you all get. Stay safe and take care.
* Please be mindful that these personality tests are strictly for fun and do not define who you are. The results from these tests are NOT a complete representation and serve as a resource to suggest traits associated with pre-categorized personalities. Personality tests are not clinically administered and do not serve as a replacement for any type of diagnosis or healthcare recommendation.
How To Keep Your **** Together When You’re Busy AF
One of the most common questions I get asked is, “Lauren, how do you balance everything? You’re soooo busy!” I would say the term “busy” is an understatement. I have always been one of those people that always stretched out too thin. I like being busy because it keeps my mind constantly going but sometimes it can be too much.
With taking 18 college credits, working two jobs, being president of the largest organization on campus, running a nonprofit organization, being a new homeowner and collaborating with brands, I don’t have a ton of spare time for myself during the week.
The truth is, some days, I don’t know how to manage it all. Sometimes I want to sit on my bathroom floor and cry my eyes out from all of the stress. I have to remind myself that I do this to myself because I know I can handle it. I then give myself a pep talk in the mirror, remind myself who is the boss, and pick myself up to be the boss lady I am.
As you can see, I am far from perfect. I do not have it all together but I’ve learned some ways to help my make life easier along the way. Here are some tips and tricks that have helped me become more productive and avoid weekly mental breakdowns.
I keep a planner. I know probably every article and productivity website recommends this. I think it helps because when I write something down, I feel super compelled to do it. I also will write the to-do list on a sticky note on my computer and post it in the corner. It’s basically a reminder that I have things to do and I need to get off Pinterest and get it together.
I use Buffer to schedule my social media posts for my personal account, my nonprofit, and this class. (MASC 336 for those not in my PR class) I can’t keep constantly tweeting and posting 24/7 but I need to ensure I’m still active on my social media platforms especially as an aspiring PR professional. I often schedule my posts every ten days (recently I’ve been slacking at this) and I pick three times a day to schedule my posts. I also will just queue posts of Facebook, Tumblr, YouTube, and my blog. By using the social media scheduling apps, I feel less guilty about not being on social media but I am still being active.
Another tool that you’re probably sick of hearing about but I absolutely swear by is Google Calendar. My trick for this to make my calendar more efficient is I make multiple different calendars. I make one for my sorority, alumni group, academics, work, plans/appointments, The #YouDefineYou Project, blog and YouTube posts, and then I also have access to my boyfriend’s calendar so I can see what he has planned. This is a lifesaver honestly. I recommend that everyone use this because it has helped me get my life together. I also send reminders to people to attend my meetings so that way they can mark it on their Google Calendar as well.
I always ask people to email me important information instead of texting it. I currently have 90 unopened texts on my phone. For myself, I tend to lose or forget to answer texts because of how many I get. If important information is emailed to me, it’s archived and more likely to get responded to.
I label my folders in my email accounts and create filters for them. I keep my inbox organized so that way I can sort through emails easily.
I give people my schedule. I make sure to email everyone my schedule so that they have it so they know when I’m available. This creates super clear communication for everyone. I do this through the app YouCanBookme. It has my schedule pre-loaded onto the app and then people are able to schedule appointment times with me based upon my availability. It then send myself and the “booker” and email confirmation where I then add it to my Google Calendar and then send a calendar invite.
I constantly am carrying my business cards. Sometimes, I meet someone I want to connect with but I don’t have the time to keep chatting with. When this happens, I give the person my business card filled with all of my information and ask them to send me an email so I can schedule a later time to chat. I always want to make sure that I am connecting with people and leave no stone unturned.
I save important information to the app, Notebook. Notebook has changed my life. It syncs with my computer, iPad, and iPhone to keep track of things that I have previously written down. I create to-do lists, write reminders and upload information that I need to remember for later. I personally like it a lot better than the downloaded Notes app on standard Apple products.
Notebook App
I avoid going on social media after 10 pm. Social media keeps my mind constantly spinning and it takes a lot of energy to process the information. It’s important to me to be able to get a full eight hours of sleep and I’m not able to do that if I’m on my phone aimlessly scrolling through social media late at night.
I try to avoid working on the weekends which includes responding to emails or engaging a ton on social media. I am not a super responsive person to anyone on the weekends unless it’s an emergency. The reason why is because I feel like it’s important to take time for myself and live in the moment. Since I’m always busy, I need some time for myself and my boyfriend. I don’t want work, school and social media to consume my life to the point where I am unhappy and make others around me miserable. I think it’s important to take time for yourself and spend time surrounded by others that love you. Life is too short to be stressed all the time.
One of the most important steps to keep being successful is to I sure take care of myself. If I’m being completely transparent, I’m still learning how to do this but I’m getting better. I make sure to always take my mental health medication and keep myself in a good headspace. One thing that sometimes we take for granted as a society is our health. Maintain our personal health mentally and physically is so important. Without your health, you will be absolutely miserable. In high school, I was sick for eight months and after that experience, I will NEVER take my health for granted again.
Lastly, I make sure to surround myself with positive people and keep a positive attitude. When you are busy, it so easy to get caught up with negativity and to feel the need to constantly complain. However, you want to make sure that you aren’t surrounding yourself with negative people. Recently, my boyfriend taught me about the difference between a minor inconvenience and when to freak out. I’ve realized that most things in my life that go wrong are minor inconveniences that can be easily fixed and won’t be relevant in a month. By keeping myself in a positive mindset and surrounding myself with positive people, I feel that I am able to get more accomplished and feel better about being so busy.
I really hope that some of these tips were helpful or at least was an interesting read. I know life can be stressful but in reality, we are all human going down different paths. Stress is a healthy emotion that we feel but of course like anythings, it’s important to not have too much of it. Remember that you all are capable of anything you put your mind to.
How To Land An Instagram Partnership
One question that I’m frequently asked is,
“How are you able to collaborate with so many brands?”
After being active on social media for about seven years, I have acquired many tips and tricks to how I have been able to work with various brands to create paid and unpaid content.
Before I get into some of my tips, I feel like it’s important to disclose that most of collaborations are unpaid however the product is sent to me in PR to review on my social media platforms. Recently, I have chose to halt all sponsorships or brand collaborations and focus on creating content that I feel is more authentic to myself and my personal brand. I will continue to do sponsorships with companies further down the road but for now, I will be focusing on developing more content that is not sponsored.
Additionally, I did want to share that until August, I was represented by a talent management. The firm would negotiate with companies and brands to help me land sponsorships, collaborations and opportunities that I don’t think I would have been able to land by myself when I was first starting off in the influencer industry. The company was very helpful and I appreciate all of their help but since taking a step back from social media, I decided to cut ties with the management firm and to represent myself.
So with all of that out of the way, let’s get into the tips!
When initially reaching out to a brand, I always do my research. I will always make sure I thoroughly check the companies website and then ask myself, “Does this company’s mission and values align with my personal brand?” If it does, I will continue on to the next step but if not, I’ll scrap the company and move forward.
When I am particularly interested in collaborating with a company, I will check their Instagram and see what other content they’ve created to ensure that I am able to create content that is up to par with their standards. When collaborating with a brand, the brand gives you products in hopes that you will come up with digital content that they can repost to their social platforms. It costs them little to no money to send influencers products so they can create free content for them instead of trying to create a full on photo shoot. So with that being said, I want to make sure that I am able to produce content that would have a shot at being reposted and would make for a quality post.
Example of a previous collaboration with the company, Jose Eber. The company reposted this on Instagram in 2018.
When finding who to contact, I always go to the website’s page, scroll down to the bottom and find the press page. After finding that, I click on a press release where almost always the press contact’s name and email will be listed. This is better than just emailing press@company.com because often emails sent to general addresses get lost and never forwarded to the correct person. By finding the direct PR contact, it helps ensure that my email will at least be read by someone which helps the chances of getting a response.
THE SUBJECT LINE MATTERS!!!!!!!!! In order to get a brand to even click on your email, it is imperative to create a subject line that will catch their attention. Companies go through hundred of emails a day but you want to make sure that they stop and click on yours.
How To Write A Catchy Subject Line
The “ask” is always clear and in the first paragraph. Whether you are asking for free product or the opportunity for a brand sponsorship, you always need to make sure that what you are asking from the company is clearly stated and towards the beginning of the email. If you are lucky and your email gets opened, you need to get your point across straight to the company about what your intentions of the email is. Often, companies will just skim emails so it’s important that your email is concise and clear.
I always personalize and tailor the email to the company. I do have a template that I use to help cut back on time however I do make sure that there are pockets of individualized content through out the email. By speaking about the brand directly such as what you like about the brand or what your favorite products are, you are making a case that you care about the company as a whole and are passionate enough to work with them.
Make sure to pitch yourself to the company and what the benefit of the collaboration is. Let them know who you are and why you can help them get press. Companies want to collaborate with people that create relationships but more importantly with people that can give them attention. Let them know in the email how you can help them advertise their product or service.
Previous post with most of my favorite brands that I often collaborate with. I create content that is easy for people to repost.
After collaborating with a brand, always send a thank you email. This is important because it’s a gesture to show that the collaboration was important to you and the relationship you created was meaningful. This could help you land collaborations with the company in the future.
Lastly, don’t be afraid of rejection. When you ask companies to collaborate, you may get a rejection email. It may because you’re not a great fit for the company or that they simply don’t have the budget for a sponsorship. More often than not, you may not hear back from the company. It’s important to not be discouraged and to keep going.
Hopefully, this information helps with those of you wanting to partner up with a brand. Through trial and error, I’ve learned all of this information to help me land more partnerships with brands. It’s all a learning experience and the more you reach out, the more often you’ll land collaborations.
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An Open Letter To Someone Struggling With A Mental Illness
To the person struggling with a mental illness,
At one point in my life, I felt as low and as sad as you. I went through the motions of life in a shell of a body that was weighed down by the pure sadness I felt every minute of every day. Everyday things, like waking up and getting out of a bed posed as a struggle for me. I used sleep as an escape mechanism to avoid all of the feelings of sadness and fear I felt. Going to school or work was emotionally and physically draining. I did my best to avoid social situations because embarrassment I felt when I was around others. I felt like I was never good enough and would never be good enough for those people that made me feel smaller than them.
At first, no one could tell I was feeling so dark inside. I shellacked my face with makeup and a big smile and told myself that everything would be okay. I could put on this faucaud just long enough until I could get home to my room and burry my head into my fluffy brown pillow and cry into the late hours of the night. Eventually, I couldn’t keep it together any longer.
A Youtube video I created about Mental Illness
I no longer could keep up with the maintenance of pretending to be okay and wore nothing but holey sweatpants and stained baggy tee shirts to school. I felt like no one acknowledged my existence or cared the slightest bit about me. So why would I spend time to dress up for a place where no one noticed me? With my head wedged between my hands under my chin, I tried not to fall asleep in school or at work because of all of the hours of sleep I lost being tormented by my anxiety. I did my best to never make eye contact with anyone because I knew if someone could look into my eyes for more than three seconds, they would know something was wrong with me. And it worked…no one knew.
My life was moving in a downwards spiral and it was moving rapidly.
The people around me only made the spiral move faster. Everyday, I was bullied for my appearance or for a rumor that was going around about me. It was so bad, I started to believe what the voices were saying.
“Her existence is just annoying”
“No one likes her”
“She could just die and no one would care.”
My body was numb. My mind was numb. My soul was numb. Everything was numb.
When April came, I wasn’t able to leave my bed. It wasn’t just that I didn’t want to, I physically couldn’t. I broke my personal record and managed to stay in my house for eleven days without leaving the house. My bed was my safe space and it was my best friend. It held me every night when I cried and kept me warm through all of the misery I was facing. My bed had done its job and I felt that its job was over. I felt that I didn’t even deserve to have the warmth that the bed provided me. I felt like I deserved to be cold. The type of cold that makes your limbs go numb and you can’t feel anything but the cold air smacking you in the face pushing you down.
April 9th, 2016 was a bright and beautiful spring day but for me, it was the darkest day. The birds were chirping and flowers were blooming. New life was starting but one was about to end. No one needed me.
My life was over in 3….2….
I ended up being hospitalized at the Virginia Children’s Treatment Center in Richmond, Virginia. After going through multiple tests, I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety.
During my time in the hospital, my doctors explained my mental illnesses to me. They showed me a chart of my brain and showed me where the bridges had broken. My brain no longer produced dopamine and serotonin because of previous head trauma and genetics that were passed down to me. They assured me that I would be okay and that a lot of people also suffered from depression. After understanding my diagnosis and talking to others around me, I learned that I wasn’t alone.
The other patients on my floor were just like me. They thought they were a waste of space and needed help in order to get better. Every patient had their own special talents and features that made them beautiful and unique in their own individual way. I wanted them to see what I saw in them and how I knew they would change the world. I wanted, more than anything, for them to see past the sadness that clouded their vision and realize how much they were loved. Everytime another patient’s family would come in, I would smile. They were loved and they realized they were loved.
The New Virginia Children’s Treatment Center
But even after my diagnosis and treatment, I still had a difficult time with coming to terms about why this all would happen. Why did this happen? Why did mental illness come along and decide to personally victimize me? Why did I almost have to die in order to get better?
My mental illness has made me stronger.
After being released from the hospital and spending three months on a treatment plan, I became a happier person. I felt like this situation was a way to get a second chance at life. I was able to get a chance to start over but I wanted to do it on my own terms. I worked hard to get better mentally and physically. I wasn’t going to let my mental illness defeat me.
There is no such thing as a magical pill that treats all problems and solves all mental illnesses. You have to want to work at it everyday. And it’s tough. But you will get better.
Three years later, I’m typing this in my beautiful house as a college senior. I’m a mental health nonprofit owner with the most adorable dog and cat. I never thought in a million years I would be where I am right now. I did not let my mental illness hold me down.
My boyfriend and I in our house!
I write this letter to assure who ever is reading this that life gets better. My journey with mental illness has only made me stronger and has helped me inspire other humans battling with illness. I have come to believe that we are only thrown the struggles in our life that we are able to handle.
So to the reader of this letter, I have a message for you. You are beautiful in your own way and can never be replaced. Even at this very moment in time you may so unloved or not cared about, I can promise you that you are. You are one of the most valuable and prized things that this Earth has to offer. No one can remake or copy you because you are a literal one-of-a-kind gem.
Without you, who would your family have to call theirs? Who would your friends have to wave to? Who would your dog have to cuddle? Who would I have to write this letter to? Who would do the things that you and only you are capable of doing?
You are irreplaceable to this world.
There is only one smile like yours, one mind like yours, one laugh like yours and only one of you. I can promise you that life will get better. Though this chapter may be difficult, I promise, your life is worth living. You are worth every single inch of space that you take up on this Earth and you are needed here.
My favorite affirmations for self love
Your mental illness does not define you, you define you.
xoxo
Lauren Brocious
Never keep it a secret if a friend tells you about a plan to hurt themselves. Call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) so that you can find out what resources are available in your area, or encourage your loved one to call. Calls are routed to the Lifeline center closest to your area code that can provide you with local resources.
I Can't Do Everything...
Hi all,
Over the past couple of months, I have struggled a lot with my health and time management. Life has been trying and difficult at times.
I have taken the past couple of weeks to step back and reevaluate my priorities and passions. While I love everything I do, I know it's not possible to be able to take on everything.
After evaluating all of my ventures, I have decided to no longer continue on with The Richmond Gen Z. Though I have loved blogging, it has created unneeded stress and I feel like I am spending an unnecessary amount of time on social media trying to keep up with my social media platforms.
However, I have created a new podcast called "Clickbait" that will focus on my passions and things that I feel are great to talk about. I will continue to create YouTube videos, podcasts, and blog posts however I will do this on my own time. I feel at this time, I do not need to add the extra stress of deadlines and creating three different forms of content every week.
I wanted to thank everyone for being so kind a supportive. I am very lucky to have an amazing group of followers.
To My Jeremy
When I first met Jeremy, I was broken. I had been on so many bad dates that I expected this one to be another date that went just okay. I had hit it all time low with my self-esteem and honestly, I wasn’t proud of it. I wanted attention from any boy who would give it to me. I just wanted someone to fix me. I wanted to feel whole again.
Walking out of my dorm room, Jeremy came and picked me up. I remember the first thing I thought about was how tall he was. Jeremy is about 6’4 and has the build of an NFL center. I gave him a hug. But something about this hug felt different from all of the other hugs I had given. He didn’t give me a half-ass hug. He hugged me and something about it made me feel safe. I didn’t want him to know that. We went to dinner and the entire time, I completely grilled him. I was trying to be a hardass. It wasn’t a good look. He read right through me. It was hard not to keep my guard up.
There was something about Jeremy that felt so right. We had so much in common and I felt like he just got me. I could tell he was a kind person. I liked him a lot.
After our first date, I remember going home, laying in bed, and smiling at my ceiling. I pulled out my phone and did something that I normally don’t do. I texted him FIRST. I felt like I didn’t need to play hard to get. After one date, I knew he was someone that I would be seeing more.
Ten months later, Jeremy and I have bought a house and moved in together. Call me crazy but it feels right. I wish I could describe how great it feels to be dating Jeremy. It is the most natural thing I’ve ever done and that is how I know he’s my soulmate.
Sometimes when I’m talking to Jeremy, it feels like I’m talking to myself. There is no filter and no judgments. We say what we feel and we aren’t afraid to be our authentic selves. I wear my pink fuzzy mom pants and dance to “Hotline Bling” and instead of judging me, this man will get up and dance with me.
I could say a lot about Jeremy but all I can say is that this is the happiest I’ve ever been. I am in the healthiest relationship I’ve ever been it. Heck, I think my friends would say that Jeremy and I have one of the strongest bonds that they have ever seen. My mental health has never been better. I feel empowered and motivated. And that is because I know I have someone who is constantly cheering for me.
If I could look back, I would tell myself to wait. You’re going to find that person you click with. Don’t settle for someone that doesn’t make you feel whole. Don’t settle for someone who doesn’t make you feel like the best version of you. Your person is out there.